


Changes

by electricblueninja



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Confession, First Post, Fluff, Haewook, M/M, neglected pairing, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2704865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricblueninja/pseuds/electricblueninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way Donghae sees Ryeowook changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

Donghae had never doubted for a moment that he loved Kim Ryeowook.

 

Of course, Donghae loved easily. To him, loving and expressing that love was as natural as breathing. He loved dancing, exercising, tacos; he loved his family and friends; he loved the way that car lights were reflected off of wet cement after rain. For him, love was not a complicated thing, but a way of responding to the world and all the good things to be found in it.

 

Ryeowook was a bandmate. A friend. A good thing. He was a part of Donghae’s world, and a good thing in it, so it was a simple truth in Donghae’s mind that he loved him.

 

Admittedly, coming to see him as more than just a friend was a little unexpected. Ryeowook had always openly admired Donghae’s appearance, and spoke well of him as a hyung and as a man. Donghae had always been slightly embarrassed, but also flattered by the attention. He accepted his dongsaeng’s warm compliments at face value, but he never read anything into those words, because Ryeowook had strong opinions on almost everything, and his appreciation of Donghae’s appearance was affectionate, but almost matter-of-fact in its delivery.

 

Over the years, though, Ryeowook grew from a slightly self-conscious, fluffy-haired eternal magnae into a man: quick-witted, sleek and chic, if never quite self-assured. Donghae came to notice the smoothness of his skin and the lively intelligence in his eyes. He began to have strange impulses to reach out and touch him. At first, these were just regular, playful urges to poke him or nudge him. But progressively and almost unthinkingly they became more intimate gestures: reaching over to straighten his collar, or brush his fringe out of his face. And, slowly but surely, over a matter of months, his gaze began dropping further: to the fluttering pulse in Ryeowook’s slender throat, the dip in his collarbone, the growing swell of pectoral muscle as he began to learn about being in his own body. Hyukjae was responsible for that, introducing Ryeowook to the gym in preparation for his role in High School Musical, and ultimately the results probably affected Donghae more than Ryeowook himself.

 

Ryeowook became happier. He smiled more often and laughed more easily. Donghae had known Ryeowook for years, and ever since they’d met the younger man had always been bad at concealing his mild discomfort at the sense—no, the reality—of being constantly watched. Both on and off-camera he had always been responsive, but cautious. Always self-conscious, as though he harboured a deep concern for how the audience, seen and unseen, would view him.

 

Donghae wasn’t entirely sure what had changed, but something had definitely changed. Maybe Ryeowook had simply learned to accept himself, or grown strong enough not to fear criticism. Whatever it was, he had sloughed off a layer of crippling inhibition, and it was as though he had come alive. His responses to everyone and even his emotions seemed more genuine, and to interact with him was now dangerously inviting. Donghae’s gaze would linger for longer, and one fateful night as he lay in the dark alone, he thought of Ryeowook’s smile and reached down between his own thighs to stroke his steadily thickening dick.

 

So for Donghae, it was a long, slow slide from friendship into something more. But it wasn’t hard for him to accept the new role Ryeowook had taken on in his life. It was just a different type of love.

 

He began to think about love more often after that, though. Ryeowook used the word a lot, as casually as Donghae felt the emotion, and it was hard not to think about how much or how little it might mean.

 

 

Eventually, Choi Siwon was the straw that broke the camel’s back, with the assistance of Twitter.

_I love you, Ryeowook-ah ^^ You’re reading [aren’t you?] Lee Donghae ^^_

 

That night in the dorm, when Heechul had asked why Siwon had posted it, Ryeowook had looked up at Heenim with smiling eyes and said, ‘He said he’d win me over with a confession. Because I said Hae-hyung was better looking.’

 

Heenim unleashed a short bark of his most obnoxious laughter, clearly amused, and he swung around on his seat to stare at Donghae, who was sitting apart from them in the loungeroom. Ostensibly, he was playing a videogame, but since Ryeowook had spoken his attention had been diverted. His car was currently wedged in a corner of the track, accelerating pointlessly into the wall.

 

‘Well,’ Heechul said suddenly, after a moment’s pause, ‘I’m going to bed, kids. Be good.’

 

He got up and crossed through the living room. Donghae recovered his senses enough to start reversing. Not, of course, before Heenim had made note of the situation, but their hyung had the good grace to do nothing more than smirk and make the dry observation ‘Careful, Fishy. You’ve got competition.’

 

Donghae continued his game. The race was well and truly lost, but it meant that he could look at something other than Ryeowook when he said ‘Did you really say I was more handsome?’

 

He could feel Ryeowook’s gaze turn on him from the kitchen. Though his tone was matter-of-fact when he responded, his eyes were inquisitive.

 

‘Of course I did.’

 

‘Oh. Thanks.’

 

After a little while, Ryeowook joined him in the living room. The couch creaked softly as he took a seat longways, his calves tucked neatly in the space between Donghae’s back and the couch cushions.

 

Donghae managed to regain three places. Not that it mattered at that point in the race, but still, it passed some time, and meant he could keep his cool when he said some important words. Words that had been left unsaid for too long.

 

‘I love you, Ryeowook-ah.’

 

There was silence as Ryeowook slowly pulled his legs away, drawing back into the corner of the couch, and Donghae felt his stomach tighten with dread. He did not want to see Kim Ryeowook’s expression right now. He didn’t even want to imagine it. He wished with all his might that the couch, which ate everything from the tv remote to entire bedsheets, would find the kindness within itself to end him before he had to meet Ryeowook’s gaze again.

 

Embarrassment coursed through him, hot and irrepressible, as he felt those clever dark eyes intent on his profile.

 

They stayed that way till Donghae crossed the finish line.

 

Reluctantly, he set down the controller on the coffee table and sat back against the couch. The whole time, he kept his eyes fixed on the phrase ‘Eighth Place’ as it flashed on-screen, too frightened to face the reality of what he’d just admitted.

 

Then there was rustling sound and movement as Ryeowook uncurled himself. Donghae thought maybe he would leave, or hit him, or at least say something. He didn’t expect him to fling his legs over the arm of the couch and lay back, letting his head rest back on Donghae’s lap.

 

His eyes were closed, and a small smile tugged gently at the corners of his mouth.

  
‘Say it again.’


End file.
